Returning Home After Living Abroad: What One Year Back Home Taught Me

Returning home after living abroad can be much harder than people expect. When you move overseas, you spend so much time preparing for the challenges of leaving.  Learning a language, visa requirements, navigating a new culture, and building a new life from scratch. 

What we don’t always prepare for is what happens when that life ends and we have to return home. You may expect familiar surroundings to make the transition easy, only to discover that you have changed more than you realized.

I know this because a year ago, I returned to the United States unexpectedly after living in Spain for four years. I had been teaching English through Spain’s Auxiliar de Conversación program and then unexpectedly the program was canceled for the upcoming school year. Finding a job in another country without a visa is almost impossible and visa sponsorship is extremely difficult.

*This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you book through these links. Thanks for your support!

For some people, going home is a choice. For others, circumstances make the decision for them. Either way, returning doesn’t necessarily mean slipping comfortably back into the life you left behind. Sometimes you return home and realize that you have changed enough that your old life doesn’t quite fit anymore.

Returning home wasn’t part of my plan, and suddenly I had to figure out what came next.

The past year has been a mix of reverse culture shock, feeling stuck and unfulfilled, and trying to make sense of starting over when you didn’t choose to start over. If you’ve recently returned home after living abroad or are trying to find your direction after an unexpected change, there are a few things I’ve learned that may help.

When Home Doesn’t Feel Like Home

One of the strangest parts of returning home after living abroad is realizing that everything around you may be familiar, but you feel different.

You’re speaking your native language, shopping in familiar stores, driving on roads you’ve known for years, and being around people and places that should feel comfortable. Yet something can still feel off. It’s not necessarily that you don’t want to be home. It’s that the person who left isn’t exactly the same person who returned.

Living abroad changes you gradually. You adapt to different routines, become comfortable navigating situations that were once unfamiliar, and begin to see your own culture from the outside. You may also discover that some of the things you once considered normal no longer appeal to you in quite the same way.

While living in Spain, I became accustomed to a different pace of daily life. I enjoyed being able to walk and use public transport to get around, I was able to spend more time outside, wander around the city with no plan, and have more time to travel and explore. I became comfortable with the idea that everyday life didn’t have to revolve around rushing from place to place.

I didn’t think much about those differences while I was living there because they had simply become part of my life. It was only after returning home that I realized how much I had come to value them. Those routines had become part of what made my life feel like mine. Returning home forced me to recognize that I wasn’t simply missing a country. I was missing a way of living.

Understanding Reverse Culture Shock

Reverse culture shock is the readjustment that can happen when you return to your home country after spending a significant amount of time abroad. It also seems confusing because you’re returning to a place you’re already familiar with, but you just don’t seem to fit in anymore.

You may find yourself comparing everyday life at home with your life abroad, feeling disconnected from friends and family, becoming frustrated by things that never bothered you before, or struggling to explain why you don’t feel completely settled.

You may even feel guilty about it. People are happy to have you home, and you may genuinely be happy to see them, but that doesn’t mean you won’t miss the life you had overseas. I experienced some of this myself. I appreciated being home, but I also missed the life I had started to create in Spain.

Missing More Than a Place

One of the hardest things about leaving Spain was the feeling that I was leaving my life behind. I remember being at the airport just crying. I was at the ticket counter checking my bags and the attendant was like “are you sad because you’re leaving?” I said “yes, but I’m more sad not knowing when I’m coming back.”

You may experience something similar after living abroad. You aren’t necessarily missing a vacation or a collection of memorable trips. You may be missing your routines, your independence, your friendships, or the person you felt like while you were living there.

For me, the ordinary parts of Spain were what I missed most. Walking through my neighborhood, hearing Spanish around me, having late dinners, and knowing that another city or country was relatively easy to reach for a weekend had all become part of my normal life.

If you’re struggling with this, try separating what you miss about the place from what you miss about the life you had there.

Some things may genuinely require you to be back in that country. Others may not. If you miss walking everywhere, could you spend more time in a walkable area? If you miss spontaneous travel, could you plan more weekend trips? If you miss being outdoors, could you make that a bigger part of your routine?

You won’t recreate your life abroad, but you may be able to bring some of the things you valued about it into your life now.

When the Plan You Had for Your Future Disappears

Returning home was particularly difficult for me because I hadn’t planned on returning permanently.

For four years, the Auxiliar program gave me a way to live and work in Spain. When the positions in Andalucía were canceled, I assumed it was temporary. I thought I’d find another way back or apply again the following year.

Then the eligibility requirements changed, including an age limit that meant I could no longer participate. Suddenly, the path I had been counting on was gone.

This experience made me realize that starting over isn’t always something we choose. Sometimes a job disappears, a relationship ends, a visa isn’t renewed, or circumstances force us to reconsider a future we had already imagined. The difficult part isn’t only losing the opportunity. It’s losing the version of the future you had already pictured.

For a while, I focused on figuring out how to get back to the life I had before. Another avenue to get me back to Spain, other visa options. Then I paused and I realized I needed to ask a different question: What did I learn from that life that I want to take with me? 

That question can be useful whenever your plans change unexpectedly. Instead of focusing entirely on how to get back to where you were, think about what that previous chapter taught you about what you want now.

Starting Over When You Feel Stuck

The past year hasn’t only been difficult because I miss Spain. I’ve also struggled with work and feeling unfulfilled by the life I’m living here.

When you know something isn’t working, it’s tempting to think you need one big change to fix everything. Sometimes it helps to start smaller by figuring out exactly what you’re unhappy with.

Ask yourself:

What did I love about my life abroad?
Look beyond the destination. Was it the lifestyle, independence, travel, community, or work-life balance?

What did living abroad teach me about myself?
Maybe you became more confident, independent, adventurous, or comfortable trying unfamiliar things.

What do I want to be different now?
This is where you can start thinking about practical changes rather than simply wishing you could go back.

I don’t have all of those answers for myself yet. But I have become much clearer about the kind of life I want to work toward.

Need to rent a car? Check out Discover cars below to find some great rates!

Building a Different Path Back to Spain

I still want to return to Spain, but I know the path will have to look different.

Rather than depending on the same teaching program that brought me there before, I’m working toward creating a more sustainable way to live abroad long-term. That’s part of why I started building Wanderthrulife.

The blog has become more than a place to share travel experiences. It’s connected to the kind of life I want to create: one with more flexibility, travel, and the possibility of living abroad again.

I don’t know exactly when I’ll return to Spain or what that path will look like. But I’ve learned that losing one route doesn’t necessarily mean giving up on the destination.

Sometimes you have to find another way there.

What I Would Tell Someone Returning Home After Living Abroad

If you’re preparing to return home or you’re already struggling with the transition, don’t expect yourself to immediately feel like the person you were before you left.

Give yourself time to figure out what has changed.

Pay attention to what you miss, but don’t automatically assume that the only solution is moving abroad again. Sometimes you’re missing a lifestyle rather than a location, and understanding that can give you more options.

At the same time, don’t ignore what living abroad taught you. If that experience showed you that you value independence, travel, flexibility, community, or a different pace of life, those discoveries are worth taking seriously.

And if you’re starting over because your plans changed, don’t measure yourself against the timeline you originally imagined. Your life may not be following the path you expected, but that doesn’t mean you’re standing still.

Going on vacation and looking for a flight? Plan your flights with Trip.com

One Year Later

A year after moving home from Spain, I don’t have an ending to this story yet.

I’m still figuring out work, purpose, and what I want the next few years to look like. I’m still working toward finding a way back to Spain, and I don’t know exactly when that will happen. It’s still a work in progress.

Returning home didn’t erase the four years I spent abroad or the person I became while I was there. If anything, being home has made me more aware of what I want from my life and what I feel like I’m missing.

If you’re going through your own transition after living abroad, you don’t need to have everything figured out right away. Start by asking yourself what you miss, what you learned, what has changed, and what you want to keep as you keep moving forward.

You may not be able to recreate the life you left behind. But you can use what that life taught you to make more intentional decisions about the life you’re creating now.

For me, the path back to Spain looks different than I expected. I don’t know exactly when I’ll get there, but I know I still want to go. For now, I’m figuring out another way forward.

You May Also Like: